Midlife Crisis

Some examples of a classic midlife crisis. Flashy red sports car. Check. Younger woman. Check. Alcohol to excess. Check.

Yes, as of my 53rd birthday I was going through all these. Except not in the way you'd think. I was bound and gagged in the trunk of the sports car. A pretty 19 year-old was the one who kidnapped me, trussed my up and threw me naked in the back of the trunk. And while I had a bit to drink, the excess of alcohol was because she was pouring it all over me and the back of the car.

Oh, and she was about ready to set the car on fire with me in it. That's the crisis part.

I struggled and mmmphhhed through my gag begging her to stop, reconsider and let me go. I knew there wasn't much of a chance. She was the daughter of a reputed gangster. As a brave, crusading reporter, I figured a way to get info on him was through his daughter. I saw her alone at a bar, so I bought her a drink and chatted her up.

Of course, I'm a guy and this girl was hot so I totally fell for her. Hey, maybe I could seduce her, right? So we went to her place and she poured me a drink. By the time I got my clothes off, I was too dizzy to do anything. Next thing I knew, I woke up bound and gagged and in extreme distress.

"Well, hello stud!" she laughed holding up a book of matches. "How stupid are you? Did you really think you could get any information from me? Or into my pants?"

I mmmphhed weakly. I was hoping for at least the second one.

"Well, one less snoopy reporter," she laughed. "And one less guy hitting on me at the bar. Time to torch two birds with one match, eh?"

I looked into her eyes and knew she meant it. I didn't have a chance. Sadly I had a thing for bad girls. Extreme bad girls in my case because they usually tried to kill me.

I shouted through my gag hoping someone could hear me and save me, even though I knew it was futile.

"MMMMPHHHHH! MMMMMMMMPHHHH! MMMMMMPHHHH!"

I struggled and screamed knowing this was the end of me. Midlife crisis indeed.

Just then the answer to all my dreams swung in. I knew there were superheroes and heroines in town, but even an intrepid reported like myself never got a chance to interview them. As exhibitionist as they were in their skimpy costumes, I imagine they were afraid of their secret identities being found out. So this was actually the closest I'd ever been to one.

But this was one I'd certainly like to be close to. Knockout body. Skintight silver latex bra and miniskirt costume. For a second I forgot my life was in mortal danger and I just stared at her.....um,, eyes.

In a swift silver flash, the heroine ran over to my captor and gave her a swift kick. Oh, I could stare at those long smooth legs and high heeled boots and deadly flames...

Deadly flames? Oh yeah. The mobsters daughter had managed to throw the match and now there was a line of flame whooshing down the line of alcohol right towards me.

There's not too many things that will distract me from a beautiful woman but I have to admit that is one of them.

"MMMMMMMMMMMPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Thankfully my beautiful supergirl was there to save me. She rushed over and scooped my helpless naked body up and ran out of the building. Just in time too! A loud explosion threw us both down to the ground. She spun around on the ground cushioning my fall. My head fell right on her breasts. Now this was the one-on-one interview with a supergirl that I had always dreamt of! Oh yeah!

"Excuse me, you can get up now," she said a little irritated.

"Mmmmmph," I muffled. About as close to an apology in my current state. I wriggled away from her to the ground still bound and gagged. And embarrassingly naked, she could see just how excited I was to see her. As if she needed a clue to that.

As though nothing had happened, she nonchalantly removed my gag as I breathed for air. She then worked on untying my ropes and I can't lie that I wasn't enjoying her hands over my body.

"Well, you seem to be none the worse for wear," she said.

"Thanks to you," I gasped.

The instant my hands were untied, I quickly covered up my...er....excited man parts. But she didn't even seem to notice. She just turned away to head off to some other adventure, no doubt.

I couldn't just let her do that.

"Wait!" I called out. "I'm a reporter. I'd love to do a story about you. Will I ever see you again?"

"Count on it," she winked.

"One more thing," I shouted. "It's my birthday."

She smiled, walked over and gave me a kiss. "Happy birthday, hero. Stay out of trouble."

With that, she was gone but the kiss and the promise I'd see her again was the best birthday present I could imagine. In fact, I may just have to work at getting myself into dangerous situations so she could rescue me again.

Maybe midlife crisis isn't so bad after all!